Saturday, April 6, 2013

On Doing Nothing...

"You're always so busy!"

"If you keep busy, time will fly by!"

"It's so great that you're able to stay busy while Mike's gone."

Busy, busy, busy. 

My (and others') philosophy for the last three months has been "Keep busy and this will all be over soon." But you know what? Six months is six months. Whether you fill every second with activities or if you sit and stare at the wall each weekend. It's always six months. I'm a scientist. I understand this concept in my head, but my heart tried to believe something else. And in this process, I wore myself out.
  • Starting Crossfit
  • Running a 10K
  • Volunteering for a fashion show, a science festival, a robotics competition
  • Hosting a brunch
  • Hosting a girls' night
  • Planning a girls' weekend
  • Biking 30 miles
  • Biking 50 miles
  • Working a garage sale fundraiser
  • Taking an online class
  • Taking a classroom class
  • Review this
  • Attend that
  • Work on those
It's all been SO fun, but I'm pooped! Over the past week, I've come to the conclusion that I do want to just spend some time by myself working on my stuff. Fun stuff. I was going to try to make fewer commitments so I could focus on myself. (Right after I e-mail Ellie to see if she wants to go to this health festival with me on Sunday....DOH!) 

This morning I volunteered for the Girls Inc. "Girls Rock It into the Future" science festival. After enjoying my free pizza today, I walked to my car and suddenly I was scared. The free time I'd been longing for all week suddenly stared me in the face. My mind raced: "I should go shopping." "No, I need to get things done at home." "No I should relax and watch shows on Netflix." "No, I'll just feel like I'm wasting my time!" Fortunately, I hit the ground running when I got home. Staple the screen on the patio so Pants can go outside? Check. Sweep the patio so it doesn't look like it's been abandoned for a decade? Check. Sweep? Empty the dishwasher? Make a juice? Check. Check. Check! I was feeling pretty good about my afternoon "off!" I'm sure the anxiety that stems from Wichita State playing in the Final Four fueled my cleaning extravaganza, but it's so nice to be able to enjoy a clean home!

Since I'm naturally drawn to new experiences, it's going to take practice not signing up for every event, class and opportunity that crosses my path. I do have some fun things planned over the coming months,  and I know more fun things will pop up, but hopefully I can save some time for myself...so I can just "do nothing." :)